"alfred sux" is a thing we have heard all in this wikia,But what if he doesnt sux?

I was outside going on a walk unlike you fat nerds, and suddenly i saw a door that said "Alfred P." I decided to knock on his door, Because i knew it was Alfred the Boy Lover. He opened, and with a smile he said, "Hello, Dear child, please come in." He offered me a cup of tea, And i accepted. However, the tea had date rape drugs and i passed out. When i woke up i saw Alfred, staring at me, and he said, "For years, people have bullied me, calling me "a boy lover" and maybe i am a boy lover?" I felt his hand crawling down my hip. I gave him a swift punch to the face, And as i ran out the door I said a thing we have all heard. "ALFRED SUX!"